2024 Welcoming Ottawa Ambassadors

Joan Turner and Joe Connor, a retired couple, live in a quiet neighbourhood in the west end of Ottawa. Although they are at a time in their lives, when many chosen to step back, they decided to lend a helping hand to the Nivyabandi family.

They both have led full lives, with accomplished careers. Joan had been a social worker and author, taught at the University of Manitoba and had owned feminist bookstore. Joe had worked as the Director of the Instructional Media Department, Faculty of Medicine at the University of Manitoba and later was a telehealth consultant.

Ketty experienced the incredible difference the kindness of the two strangers would make in her life, when she moved to Ottawa in 2017 with her two daughters, aged 10 and 7 at the time. “Joan and her partner Joe have been our second family since we arrived in the city seven years ago,” says Ketty Nivyabandi.

“Shortly after hearing that we had moved into their neighbourhood, Joan took it upon herself to visit us almost weekly,” explains Ketty. “Knowing our interest in art and music, she took my daughters and I to various museums and art events and found a piano and piano classes for the girls.”

“They would find events that might interest us,” remembers Ketty. “They were so attuned to us as human beings. That is quite remarkable, given that we initially seemed to be worlds apart. Yet through this friendship, we have realized that we are closer than we thought. It’s very much a two-way experience and they saw us for who we really are, beyond our immediate needs.” 

Like many single parents juggling a busy career, Ketty was faced with the often-challenging logistics of childcare. “Once I started work, Joan and Joe volunteered to pick up my younger daughter from the school bus stop every afternoon,” explains Ketty. “They brought her home with her, until I returned. They did it for years, until she was old enough to go home alone.” 

The couple’s care and support gave Ketty peace of mind and a sense of stability for her family as she transitioned to a very hectic life. “My daughters were missing home and their environment and family and friends back in Burundi,” adds Ketty. 

The couple had found out about Ketty from a friend of Joan’s who also belonged to a Grandmothers to Grandmothers Campaign group, which is part of the Stephen Lewis Foundation. “I told my friend that I didn’t have things to give her, but I could introduce her to the neighbourhood, explains Joan. We owned a car, and she didn’t. As retired people, it wasn’t a hard thing to do.”

“When we started out introducing Ketty to the neighbourhood, I had no expectation that we would become close friends,” adds Joan.
They discovered much in common. “Joan shared feminism as a commonality,” reflects Ketty. “She understood that we were coming from the same place.”

Joan is impressed by the young woman’s accomplishments as an activist and human rights leader. She was moved by the story Ketty wrote called “Home”.

Ketty is struck by how Joan has such a youthful spirit for someone who is 87. She laughs when she thinks about Joan referring to others in her building as “the seniors” and how she bought them groceries during the pandemic. Joe fondly remembers orienting them to a Canadian way of life. “Joan taught the daughters how to ice skate, cross-country ski and play tennis,” he remarks. “They would come to our building to use the swimming pool.”

“Well, we’re experienced as grandparents,” adds Joe. “For us, this was a chance to practice those skills with a couple of wonderful girls. Keeping kids in our lives keeps us young. It’s great to have them.” And the girls just love Joe’s sense of humour! “What I appreciate about them the most, whereas sometimes people welcoming you as a refugee can take you on as project, they related to us as friends, not in a condescending way,” reflects Ketty. “They are very human and perceptive of our needs.”

Ketty appreciates that Joan is action-oriented, and Joe is sometimes a philosopher. In her eyes they are very kind, humble and generous.
They continue to do thoughtful things — like bringing her fresh produce, plants and copies of the Globe and Mail, highlighting articles that might interest her.

Both Joan and Joe feel privileged to get together with Ketty and her family to celebrate birthdays, Christmas and other special occasions. Just like grandparents they are proud to see Ketty’s daughters grow up and accomplish great things.

Ketty feels that the gift they have given her daughters is very strong. “My daughters don’t have grandparents in town,” concludes Ketty. “When we sit down for dinner with Joan and Joe, we have multi-generational conversations. It’s a relationship they wouldn’t have otherwise had and it’s so rich for them.” And clearly it’s like having the gift of grandparents.